WTF, tiktok is getting banned??? Hello, my name is Jake and welcome to my masterclass… on clickbait. Gotcha! No, TikTok isn’t getting banned, at least not for the time being. There are however significant pushes from congress and a few other vocal sources (probably lobbyists hired by Meta) to ban TikTok in the United States due to concerns about China and the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) having access to our data and feeding propaganda to our people. Kind of like what Facebook does but they’re different because Zuckerberg is a robot that was built on good O’l American soil.  Yesterday the CEO of TikTok, Shou Chew was called into Congress to testify in front of the House Energy and Commerce committee. My main takeaway from what I saw was that yesterday was a glaring indictment of our current congressional representatives, specifically when it comes to the average age of our reps. Watching a bunch of geezers and boomers try to grill someone about tech that is actually knowledgeable in tech was both very funny and very concerning. Let’s look at some highlights from yesterday:
Dick Hudson really thought he had his Gotcha moment there didn’t he (some just can’t do it like me). I like to think he and his team spent all last week preparing that highly intelligent question. I think that we may need to call in Bill Gates and Tim Cook to ask them if their products use people’s home wifi as well. A hidden and dangerous reality of TikTok illuminated by the great congressman from North Carolina.
Oh boy, lot to unpack here from Congressman Buddy Carter. This is honestly the best 90-second clip of the day and an absolute knockout one-two combo. I don’t know WTF Buddy was talking about with dilated pupils assisting the TikTok algorithm, which Chew clearly denied, and Buddy didn’t know WTF Chew was talking about when he explained simple face filters needing to know where people's eyes are. I would bet a good amount of money that at some point on the campaign trail some 23-year-old intern came up to Buddy and made him film a video with the OG Snapchat dog filter on his face (it knew where his eyes were). The second part of this clip is arguably funnier than the first. After asking how TikTok knows its users' ages it’s explained to Buddy how users self-report their age then TikTok verifies by viewing public posts by that user. Buddy’s response? “That’s creepy, aw yeah you’re sick, some kinda sicko huh? Tell me more you big weirdo”. It’s so funny to me that it’s seen as there being some sort of problem with TikTok looking at the public content posted by its users when one of the issues that came up multiple times was about content the representatives deemed “inappropriate” and should’ve been taken down by TikTok itself. Who’s someone that brought very that issue up? Buddy!!!
Buddy was freaking on one yesterday! My man put up the congressional hearing version of a triple-double! This clip actually infuriated me when I watched it. What the hell is this guy talking about?! Sure TikTok is the current bastion for dumb internet challenges to go viral but that should not matter. Internet challenges have been a thing for literally as long as the internet has existed and used to be some of the biggest content on Youtube and Vine
So it is freaking ridiculous that when Chew brought up this is an industry-wide issue NOT specific to just TikTok Buddy just shut him down saying: “We talm bout TikTok here, tell me whhhhy this goes on?” Do you want to know why Buddy? It’s because dumb people with the internet will do dumb things and other dumb people will see that and replicate it. That’s like day 1 internet shit. Another clip I saw but can’t find now is of a congresswoman talking about sleep deprivation in teenagers because of TikTok and how important sleep is to them. This is maybe the stupidest point brought up the entire day! Back in 2012 when I got my first iPod touch I had 0 issues depriving myself of sleep using Kik, iFunny, and Cut the Rope. Kids and teenagers with electronic devices will stay up all night on their phones with or without the evil clock app. As you’ve seen in previous examples, multiple times the representatives were just simply wrong on their facts, for instance, the love-child of Kelly Clarkson and Sally Struthers in the clip below.
Another thing that kept happening was representatives would ask a question, get an answer, and then say that the answer isn’t true. What exactly is the point of having a hearing if you’re not going to believe anything you hear?
Ma’am the only thing preposterous here is your wig. I honestly don’t understand why the TikTok CEO is under fire here when there are other social media CEOs that are so much worse!
Really Elon? You couldn’t execute one of the easiest, low-hanging fruit jokes to exist? C’mon man, maybe it’s time to hang up the cleats and never attempt a joke again. (If any of Elon’s fanboys try and defend this by saying “he was being ironic you just don’t get it” I don’t care. Even Ironically this is plain dumb and band kid humor) Look, at the end of the day it is concerning that China may be able to access user data from TikTok, but is that really any different than what Meta does? Sure there is a difference between a foreign government versus an American private company having my data but to me, I honestly don’t care. So China knows I like to scroll through hours upon hours of South Park/Subway Surfers videos, Big Whoop. While not all Tik Tok content is the best you can find some really cool stuff on there. Stuff such as Movie and TV reviews with insightful analysis that gives you a new perspective Or creative and mouth-watering cooking videos that spark your culinary adventures And maybe even tips and tricks on how to find your future soulmate So at the end of the day, I will fight for my right to waste 6 hours of my day scrolling aimlessly on TikTok. U.S. government… come and take it… I dare you
- Jake
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |